Being on vacation sober has been an amazing experience. The two main things that are both extremely obvious to me and extremely different are the positive experience in the morning and the lack of guilt.
I have been the first one up every morning. I have spent my mornings enjoying coffee while I look at the beautiful view. If I had to choose between relaxing on a deck in the morning, enjoying the peace while eager for the excitement of the day or relaxing on the deck in the evening with a glass of wine while knowing I might get too rocked and ruin my next morning, I would choose the coffee. Oh wait. I DID have to choose. That was is why I am blogging!
I can't remember a vacation with friends being so fulfilling. Sure, I have been on some photography workshop/vacations where all we did is hike and photograph things. On those trips, I had wine with dinner but never let it get out of hand because the photography was more important than drinking in the evening. Besides, I would be so physically exhausted by dinner on those trips that I had little energy to do anything after dinner. I have also been on some hiking trip/vacations where we were backpacking and alcohol just wasn't going to be in the picture.
This trip is different though. If I wanted to overindulge I could. Earlier in this blog, I said this is the type of trip where everything would be fine. I said it would be fine because my friend and I love exploring nature and that would be our first priority. I also said that my friend doesn't drink too much. It is funny how on this trip sober, I am seeing all of the ways in which I probably would have been drinking. Even though I might not have gotten falling down drunk, I probably would have drank enough to feel it in the mornings.
Two days ago, after a day of hiking and exploring, we stopped to eat dinner at a locals restaurant/bar that was recommended to us. Here is where I would have rewarded myself with a drink after a hike. Next, we went to this hotel/restaurant/bar where there was a blues band playing outside on the deck. This is where the I would have drank wine. After the band stopped, we moved into the lounge. It was a hip dark place with a cozy, relaxing vibe. I probably would have continued here. In the end, I would have been drunk. Again, very unlikely to be sloppy drunk with this friend, but probably drunk. Even though I was observing and thinking about what my drinking would have been like, there is good news. I really didn't mind not drinking. I got over the post hike drink reward thought and focused on the post hike sit down and relax to eat thought. When we went to see the band, I really enjoyed the music and the beautiful outside setting. When we went to the lounge, I focused on conversation and people watching. When we got back to the vacation place, I was just simply grateful for what a beautiful day I had. It was wonderful to know that I was fully present and engaged each moment of the day. It was wonderful not to have all of the paranoid thoughts after drinking about what people thought, whether I was visibly drunk, whether my friends thought I overdid it, whether I wasn't cheery enough in the morning, whether I kept my friends out too late because I wanted to have just one more. None of that. The lack of THAT puts a spring in my step and a greater sense of worth in my heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment